Kakehai week: desk/gratitude

[ibreathakaashi]

Do you like running?

Kakeru’s eardrums plead for the voice to stop, as the words play over and over again like a broken record. The question was a conundrum that refused to leave his mind. Now as he sits beside the man who created this difficult thinking in the first place he wants nothing more but to admire the moon. While nothing like the monstrous cities of the suburban area, the fields of the soft grass and trees ahead clear a path of the rippling waters.m

The other residents of Chikusei-sou still rejoice with cups of sake and boisterous laughter, the night is still young. Kakeru can hear the remnants of argument coming from the twins, as he grips the wooden table. The air was colorful, he’s thankful for once that’s underage, worried what the influence of alcohol might inhabit his mind.

It’s nice to be away from the crowd sometimes, away without the stuffy room and smell of sake sloshing around him. The horrendous cackling of the stupid poppers Joji and Jota insisted that they bring. After a while, once the party began to die down, Shindo clings to Musa, soft trickling snores as he leans against him. Arguing adjacent of him was Nico-senpai, cheeks flush that blends in with his scruffy facial hair. Yuki is relaxed tipping his can frivolously, the effects of alcohol proceeding to overcloud his judgement.

Kakeru feels the urgency to run for some unknown reason, it’s substantial. With a runner like him, it consumes his everyday life. Even if his teammates are lagging behind, he has to spurt ahead. The urge grew less over the last months as he’s developed different bonds with each of students who reside with him at Chikusei-sou.

The last noteful of “kanpa!i” spreads across the room and Kakeru finishes the last of the little rice wine he’s ingested tonight. The hum from the alcohol electrifies his body and he stands up.

“Excuse me.” He says quietly, retreating to take his plate to the sink.

Haiji on the other hand, pours himself another cup, the can which contained the liquid that stains his lips sloshes around. When their captain is drunk, he’s uncontrollable and Kakeru’d prefer to avoid the encounter of having to stay longer than necessary.

Soon others join him, as the room that used to be silent now shifts as others settle into their futons. Kakeru lays in his own, blanket pushed beside him. The clock ticking in a cycle as it reads quarter to midnight. The fan whiffles around him, cold air blowing at his feet. Snores become louder, as one of the twins foot rubs his cheek and he decides a change of scenery would be better.

Crawling in small tiptoed steps to maneuver his way out of the room, he goes to out on his shoes but is stopped by the moon. The clearest he’s seen it without the oak trees that shield the fields of hills expanding beyond exposed. Mesmerized, he hauls his direction outside to the balcony. It’s beautiful, pools of stars fall across the sky. Kakeru blindly gapes his mouth open, as he edges closer.

These are nights where he can be alone and think peacefully, about the choices he’s made and to reflect about them. Kakeru may not be the best public speaker in explaining what’s on his mind. Infact, the worst, as Yuki tends to remind him which only vexs the twins to encouragement of teasing Kakeru to no end.

The past few days, encountering Sakaki, isn’t the highlight of the trip. But when Haiji’s calm, ceaseless words that ease him before he threw hands. It appeared that everytime Kakeru makes a mess Haiji is there to rescue him whether it’s with his sharp and whiplashing remarks, or hands gripping his back warmly. Regardless, Haiji is there no matter what. Maybe it was pure mishap that he landed in Haiji’s hands when he needed to brought back from the darkest moments.

He supposes he should be grateful for Haiji Kiyose.

Haiji with his sly antics and alluring eyes that always seem that they’re sinking Kakeru’s. His Haiji that’s always one step behind when he needs him.

The pronoun felt a bit predatory since Haiji belongs to the rest of his teammates, the flutter of eyelashes as he glances over Shindo’s computer pointing to the website. Flush cheeks that turn to stare directly across from Kakeru tonight. Everything is unraveling piece by piece in Kakeru’s brain.

Haiji Kiyose, the upperclassmen bicycling on his bike, breathless. “You like running?”

Shaking his head, he ducks his hands into his head, resting them over the balcony. Kakeru really needed to get his head together. Was he thinking abrupt things because of the wine? He glances up at the sky, the breeze running through his hair pleasingly.

We’ll reach the top, together.

His voice sticks to his head, over and over again. The light melodic tone he used to lure King to take Nira on a walk, or he convince Yuki to play with his glasses. It’s powerful influence on its own, can crack a smile from Kakeru. Haiji has done a number on Kakeru and he hasn’t realized it yet.

“Kakeru, it’s late, what are you doing still up?” Two steps approach him, until a warm body encompasses his right side.

“I couldn’t sleep.” The words rougher as they spill from his lips.

In his hands are two cracked brown mugs of milk that steam waves its way through the air, dispersing with the earthy winds. “Here’s some hot milk, it might help you sleep.”

Grasping the handle, their hands meet in a light feather touch for a lasting second before it ends. It’s warm, not scalding hot as he imagined and he takes a sip.

“Thanks.”

Together they stand along the patio, Stars shining bright, and he can’t help but not resist admiring the pattern of illumination playing along his eyes. They dance down to his cheeks that are pale in the moonlight. God, this really wasn’t good was it?

Strong hands grip the mug, lips pinkened hovering above the rim. The whole world outside was deafening quiet compared to an hour ago.

“Kakeru,” startled, he flinched back. Haiji smiles, staring back to what splays the trees in front of him. “Feeling tired, You've been quiet since dinner?” He inches closer, and the mug slips from his hands threading into them like putty.

“Probably, I should get to bed, thanks Haiji-san.” Avoiding his eyes, he stumbles to pull himself up from the rails.

“Wait, Kakeru don't leave.” There’s a slight change in his goodie, almost desperate. And rolls back, back resting on the wood as Haiji stands to be wedges between Kakeru.

He blushes naturally warding off the horrible pooling feeling that pierced his chest as Haiji nears him. Eyes skimming his jaw, delicately a hand tracing the outline. All he can do is clamp his jaw, paralyzed in a trapped trance. Brown, heavy eyes the hue of bark that connects the leaves hanging over the house. His hands automatically clench the railing.

“What are you doing?” His voice caught in his throat, shaky and unsteady. Haiji’s movement is unlike his prevalent attitude. Finger placed underneath his chin, raising his jaw up unwillingly. Kakeru’s breath quicken, is he having an heart attack.

“I’m been wanting to do something for a while, can I show you?” Quiet but words thick with hazy emotion.

“Su-sure.” He stumbles as Haiji cups his chin, grazing his neck. It struck a match in his stomach, and he’s frozen.

Pressure meets his lips, but he keeps his eyes closed. It’s not dangerous, not causing harm and he makes no signs of complaint. Arms wrapping his strong biceps, Kakeru mouth swells to claps Haiji longer. No poppers ready to burst any given moment, no noisy teammates to disturb this moment.

Haiji leads him, he clearly knows what he’s doing, peppered small kisses along the curve of his mouth. Cupid’s bow red and dry as he licks it once parting. The kiss was gentle, and as Haiji stares at him with wide-lidded eyes casing for him lose his balance, knocking the mugs to the ground.

“Should I pick them up?” Kakeru whispers, lips chapped as Haiji’s fingers linger in his hair, a millimeter apart.

“Leave it, we’ll deal with it later.” Haiji breathes out heavily, blush crawling up his cheeks as Kakeru sinks in what just happened.

He kissed Haiji, and liked it.

“Can we go that again?”

Haiji grins, that beautiful, cheeky smile he savors for Kakeru. “Which part?” He teases.

“You what I mean!” He growls, taking the reins.

Clutching the green cloth of his Haten, he pulls him back into his arms. Arms scraping his sides, he kisses him harder. Wanting to relish the moment, Haiji gasps beneath his mouth. The joyous sound fills him, as Kakeru bits down on his lip. He has no clue what he’s doing or if what he’s doing is right but continues.

Haiji withers, completely dropping his weight on top of Kakeru, as he takes his hair back, tentative kisses to slow down the heat in the chilly night. Separating finally, he looks away, as Haiji still remains victorious. Milk dripping near feet, both breathless and lips that are lipstick red and the color of blood. Blood pumps their his veins, fire and ignited to burn. That’s how he feel when he’s around Haiji.

Haiji slides off of him, smile resting on his face. Unreadable and that’s what scares him the most. “Do you have a girlfriend Kakeru?” He asks, bending down to cardiomyopathy pick up the shards of glass on the deck.

Kakeru smooths back his hair. “Eh? What kind of question is that?”

He kisses him again chastely giving him no time to react, “a question out of good graces that’s all.”

Kakeru holds onto his hands, a smile creeping its way, of course it’s because of Haiji. It’s always Haiji that gets him to like this. Exposed and let out to be combed apart.

“I hate you, you know.” He mumbles, muffled behind his jacket. But the statement is completely false and they both know that.

Haiji smiles, widely and breathtaking contrasting with the impossible moonlight he’s ignored until now officially.

Thank you, he whispers so that only Haiji can hear him and his smile turns explosive, bigger than ever and even brighter than the moon.